A Real Pain in the Butt

So my amazing biofeedback doctor has me on a new protocol to help me seriously detox my body on a clinical level to remove all of the unwanted sludge from my body to continue healing my nervous system.

Since being diagnosed with Neurosarcoid, my biggest concern is that all the “stuff” happening, well… It’s happening in my brain.  While every serious relapse has been isolated to my optic nerves, that’s still not cool. One… What if it affects another part of my brain, say, oh… like the part that control my breathing? and Two, if it only keeps affecting my eyes… Who the heck wants to end up blind from this!?!

No, no, no…. Not me.

What is a Colonic?

Apparently colonics have been around for a really long time…  Supposedly, the ancient Greeks were found to use this method of healing to prolong longivity….  Hmmm….  There’s a bad joke there, somewhere.

So what is it?  A colonic is a way of removing some of the sludge from your large intestine.  This makes me think of that motor oil commercial advertising about engine sludge in your car.  Guess what…  The same way it’s bad for your car, it’s equally as bad for your body!

So how do we clean out this sludge?  Simplified: For about 45 minutes to an hour, warm filtered water is slowly flushed into the colon part of your large intestine through your rectum while belly massages help stimulate your body to do what Mother Nature intended it to do…  Push it out.

What is it pushing out exactly?  That engine sludge…  Remember all those french fries, gallons of soda, pizza and bacon cheese burgers you had your freshman year of college?  Well, believe it or not, some of that food is still in there and it’s plastering the walls of your intestines.  Yup, after all these years!!!

Your colon can expand to 3 times its normal size.  That means it can hold a lot of crap for a really long time.  The longer it piles up against the walls, the more toxic it becomes.  My Colon Therapist described it as a papier mâché project. It starts off with soggy newspaper and as you continue to add layers to it, it builds up, eventually hardens and can last for years…

Just like your kindergarten project, the food starts to fill the ridges in the colon and build up, layer by layer.  As the years pass, bacteria festers in there and can eventually turn toxic.  That toxicity will eventually seep into your body and can cause health problems and even increase the signs of aging. What??? It can make me look old??? Yeap…

Why Have One…

Remember the old adage, you are what you eat?  Well… They were kinda right.  It’s more like you are what you absorb.  Nutrient absorption is vital for a healthy body.  Unfortunately, we mistreat ourselves and poorly feed our bodies so it’s often left nutrient deprived.  And what does malabsorption cause?  You guessed it…  Diseases and disorders…  Ironic because diseases and disorders can also cause malabsorption… Chicken vs egg dilemma.

Let’s face it, most people eat a really poor diet.  Convenience has become a priority over healthy eating.  Even people who think they are ordering healthy in restaurants are often deceived by the additives found in their food like excessive oil, butter, salt and sugar.  Pesticides, processed foods, and franken-foods are the norm.  And let’s face it…  It’s cheaper to order a supersized processed meal with a giant soda than it is to order a garden salad with grilled chicken and a bottle of water.

Colonics help balance the friendly bacteria by flushing the environment where the bad bacteria and toxins flourish.  This helps the body reestablish a healthy intestinal flora. This allows for healthy nutrient absorption and increased immunity.  I’ll just leave it at that because after being on the GAPS diet for the last year, I can write for hours about the benefits of healthy intestinal flora on your health! Just trust me, this is a good thing!

Colonics are believe to be a treatment to prevent disease. Yeah, I wrote it like that just to cover my *$$… You know my stance on this topic… Pharmaceutical companies spend so much money to keep us sick because it’s good business… for THEM.  What if mopping out our intestines every so often could save us thousands of dollars in prescriptions that only keep symptoms at bay instead of curing diseases… Would you try it? I would. I did.

Is It an Enema?

Like Coach Angel, one of my Jiu Jitsu coaches, always says… It’s the same but different.  The colon is segmented into 4 different parts.  It is my understanding that enemas only clear out the last section of your colon, maybe up to two sections depending on how long you are able to withstand the enema.  Since they’re done at home, some people like the privacy factor.  They do help move active fecal matter in these areas and any gas lingering.  But the sludge on the walls? It tries, but it’s like digging a grave with a spoon… You can get it done, but it’s gonna take you a really, really, really long time.

The colonic does not make you hold in the water to allow it to work.  It’s a steady flow of water with an evacuation tube that allows for immediate release of the fecal matter. No running to the bathroom necessary.  It reaches a larger area of the colon and helps remove the sludge that has hardened along the intestinal wall.  Colonics should only be done by a trained professional colon therapist but despite the office visit, a good therapist will make you feel right at home.

Does It Help You Lose Weight?

If you know me, you know I believe that any quickie weight loss method is not just cool. If it took you a while to pack it on, it will take you a while to lose it in a healthy way.  While the colonic will remove the built up fecal matter from your colon and allow your body to remove toxins trapped because of this build-up… No, it will not make you lose weight.

That being said, if you have a pudgy belly that is noticeable because of inflammation or gas, then you will definitely see a difference. So essentially, you will look in the mirror and “feel” skinny!  I like that!!!

Beware of anyone advertising colonics as a method to lose weight.  They may add herbal agents to strip too many layers too quickly and too harshly, overworking the liver and kidneys. That’s your defense team, your front line for detoxing… You need them to filter out the released toxins… Too much, too fast is not good in this case.  Not to mention, a colonic is supposed to support a healthy gut flora, not strip the good bacteria out with the bad.

Remember: Colonics require specialized equipment and proper disposal methods. They must be administered by a properly trained colon therapist.

Wondering if You Would Benefit From a Colon Cleanse?

Well, let’s see… Do you suffer from lower back pain, headaches, fatigue, muscle pains, joint aches, gas, bloating, Candida, bad breath, eczema, constipation…??? Well then maybe, yes.  But that’s just my opinion…