How Many Years?
I realized today would have been my wedding anniversary had we still been together… I know, you expect me to be sad, maybe even hard on myself for failing at my marriage… But no. That’s not happening today.
It did give me pause when I remembered, I won’t lie, and I did allow myself to feel the loss for a minute. But then, I looked back and smiled for all I am grateful for…
I have an amazing child. He inspires me in so many ways! He keeps me on my toes, makes me laugh, keeps me grounded, helps me see the good in everything and loves me unconditionally… If for nothing else, I will always be grateful to his father for helping me bring such a beautiful soul to this world.
I have grown in so many ways… My life is far from perfect, trust me, but nothing ever is… However, I am taking control of my health and my son’s health. I know I will be pharmaceutical free despite what “they” say and my diagnosis will no longer impact my life negatively. I also know my son will continue to flourish and heal despite his challenges.
I am building my own business. How awesome is that?!? I am a wellness advocate for essential oils and I am a certified holistic health coach. Yes, me… the girl who hated vegetables is now loving the plant based life!!! Thru this I touch lives… I teach people holistic ways to take care of their families, especially those families with children with special needs… I offer women the opportunity to change their financial situations… I try to inspire people to break the ceiling that limits their dreams and help make every day a great day!
Having my own business also means I can keep my promise to my son… My job will NEVER prevent me from being present for him. Being totally honest, when my marriage dissolved, my biggest fear was that I needed to return to the corporate world to financially survive. What would happen to my son while I was working 12 hour days to earn a living? I decided money wasn’t worth the trade off…
Although I’m not currently the 24/7 stay at home mom as I was when I was married, I am still here for Speedy. I help him meet his needs when he needs me, I attend his events and go to what ever else I want to participate in while generating an income. And although my business is still growing, I know the day will eventually come that my time will again be totally free for our every whim! Again, how awesome is that?!?
Circumstances have filtered my friends and family so only those that truly matter are still present, those that have stuck by my side and never faltered regardless of the turmoil in my life… This includes loved ones near and far. While I may not have always be the best friend back, I am forever grateful for their unconditional love and continued support.
I have met amazing and influential people that I may have never met otherwise, inspiring me to keep going. I have new friends that are always in my corner, inspiring me to be better, do better and feel better… I have met financially successful people that are so comfortable in their own skin they will get on the floor and hang out with my 6 year old son at his level… How beautiful is that?
I have physically challenged myself to more… My body is still healing but I’m not sitting on the couch waiting for “someday” anymore… My weight is ideal for my size, the lowest I have ever been in my adult life. I have returned to jiu-jitsu classes and I even started taking indoor skydiving lessons… Pain continues to be part of my daily life but it no longer prevents me from living.
I am a role model to my son. He inspires me to be better. To be present. To live… I strive to do the same for him.
“Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”
I am no longer that frightened person locked in the bedroom hugging her son with tears in her eyes, dialing her best friend for help, afraid to dial 9-1-1… I have grown. I am no longer afraid of my ex… I am no longer afraid of change… I am no longer afraid of facing the unknown… I am no longer afraid of being alone… I am no longer afraid of failing…
While I may still feel fear, it no longer stops me… I JUST JUMP!!! If I fall, I build my wings on the way down…
Imagine… All of this gained by one person walking out the door.
Happy Anniversary, honey. You’ve given me the best gift ever.